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#30daysofbiking: Day 20

April 20, 2012

It was Friday, beautiful weather.  So why was everyone such asses?  Cars seemed to be zooming by too closely, too quickly.  Conditions worsened at Fort Totten.  The road through the metro station is busy with buses and cars unloading passengers.  Through experience I learned it’s safer at this point in my commute to take the full lane.  Today, someone was not OK with that.

HONK HONK HONK!  I turned around slightly and gave a shrug…I hear you and I’m not moving until it’s safe for me, sorry.  This of course was not an appropriate response for her.  HONK!  She revved her engine, edged to my right and passed me!  Predictively, I knew what was coming.  About 20 feet later she was forced to stop as she joined the 4 or 5 cars in queue at the pedestrian crosswalk.  I easily rejoined the group.  I found it funny that she and her car were making me wait longer than I would have slowed her down.

Approaching her white Cadillac, I began thinking of what to do.  Should I zip right by her and smile, frown, shrug?  Maybe just passive aggressively inch my way closer and closer to her car.  As I waited for traffic to move, I observed her car decorated with a Jesus fish and custom plate reading “HIMNMER1” (him and me are one).  First, it made me think of this: WWCJD (What Would Cycling Jesus Do?).

Then I wondered how she would’ve reacted if Cycling Jesus had taken the full lane.  I’m guessing she would have shown him similar mercy (I mean come on, she needed to catch a train and another one wasn’t coming for a whole four more minutes!).  The aftermath might have played out like this:

“Case #349592: Reverend (for tax purposes) Cadillac Lady versus Cycling Jesus Christ”
C.L.: “Your honor, I was minding my own business when Jesus just came out of nowhere.”
Judge:  “Did you honk your horn”
C.L: “Religiously.”
Judge: “Did you attempt to slow down?”
C.L.: “Good God no!”
Judge:  “And after you struck Jesus what did you do?”
C.L.:  “Got out of my car and checked for damage, of course.”

Of course this whole scenario is absurd and really the whole WWCJD argument is moot.  Why?  Well, everyone knows Jesus only rode dinosaurs.

But pre-evolutionary Monkey Jesus, well, that’s a different story:

And finally, approaching a four-way intersection on the way home, a black Cadillac decided bicycles shouldn’t be allowed to have a turn.  Barely slowing, he sped by.  His license plate: “IOUGOD.”

Distance: A very bitter 17.2 miles

3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 20, 2012 10:22 pm

    Interesting, that whole concept, eh? Hypocrites at their best (or worst).

  2. April 20, 2012 10:24 pm

    Oh, I try not to get too much fun out of these scenarios… Hypocrites at their best (or worst).

  3. October 23, 2012 12:10 pm

    They are always the worst. Smug about the grace they think they have on their side, or something …

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